Thursday, May 12, 2005

InfoLanka jokes - collection

Wonderful joke collection - http://www.infolanka.com/jokes/

A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, " Dad, why do you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: " So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!"


Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.


Chinese Adam and Eve:
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise because Chinese would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake!

Balgobin... 10 yr old child

BALGOBIN... is a ten years old boy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on
the floor?
BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North
America.
BALGOBIN: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Balgobin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TêCHER: Balgobin, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
BALGOBIN: Me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
BALGOBIN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than
you are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BALGOBIN: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN: Your name on this report card.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by
biting
insects?
BALGOBIN: Don't bite any.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with
"I".
BALGOBIN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on
the same day, same
time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his
father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you
know why his
father didn't punish him?"
BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his
hand?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BALGOBIN: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER: No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are
wearing,
one is green and
one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another
pair just like that
at home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and stopped him,
what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN: Brotherly love?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before
eating?
BALGOBIN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the
same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BALGOBIN: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when
people are no longer interested?
BALGOBIN: A teacher

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